The Allure of Being Mean

I was listening to one of my favorite radio shows today when it dawned on me what to write about, the benefits of being mean. No, I'm not mean. At least I don't think I am. I'm thinking about how great mean looks from the outside looking in. This story is exactly my point (From This American Life, Public Radio International). Click the link then skip to 23:16 and listen to the story about the waitress. Basically, she was getting terrible tips because she was too nice, so she gave up, stopped caring and Ta Da! good tips again. What is it about treating people badly that makes them like you so much?

The other day I had someone I work with say "You're the nicest guy I've ever known. Really." I thought that was a nice thing to say but it doesn't really get you anywhere. For some reason nice guys are people you call your friend but you don't actually want to hang out with them.

Another case in point: my friend. He is really bad when it comes to relationships with women. He just doesn't care what they think or what they want. Now I listen to him decide how he is going to handle a situation and I just shake my head in amazement but it always works out. It's uncanny and It's just not right. Dating two girls at once. Fine. Tell one of them you were gone last weekend because you went to visit the other one. No problem. Balance those two and a relationship with a married woman. Couldn't be better.

Perhaps someone can explain to me why this works because I'm seriously considering this strategy. It's certainly less work and it's got a better track record.